Ramadhan

It is already Ramadhan... and wow, it has been NINE days since it started. So.. how many nights have you been doing qiamullail? how many juzuk alquran have you finished? how sure are you that your puasa are accepted? Frankly, i think nowadays time flies, meaning to say, we would all be dead soon enough. Are we ready to leave this world and face Allah? Are we ready to live alone in liang kubur yang gelap gelita and sempit sehingga bersilang tulang rusuk kita?

When i though of dying, the first thing that came accross my mind is what i will be leaving in this world.. my beloved husband, my family.. how will they be when i'm gone.. are they sad? will my husband marry again???? will my mother be devastated? etc..etc..

However... i am trying to remind my self that those things won't be relevent anymore to me if i'm dead. I should be thinking of how i'm going to face mungkar and nakir.. how am i going to cross titian Sirah? how will Allah accept me? Will he be mad at me? from which hand will i receive my Book of deeds? How in the world will i be able to survive Padang Masyar..dimana matahari ibarat sejengkal dari kepala... (sekarang nie kalau panas terik pun nak byk komplen!)

Hmm... Bila terfikir seme nie.. rase kecciikkk sgt diri... rasa malu nak berharap syurga dari Allah dgn ibadat yang tak seberapa.. not to mention tak khusyuk, tak sempurna...etc..

Well, may we get the best of Ramadhan always. And to remind myself and all, hidup ini bukan sekadar kat dunia sahaja.. yang akhirat tu jauh lagi penting...yang akhirat tu la yang kekal abadi.

Wallahualam.

p/s: i've read a very interesting book, the book mentioned " apabila seseorang itu meninggal, dia tidak mati seperti yang rata-rata kita anggap. Mereka sekadar pergi meninggalkan alam dunia, ke alam kubur. Roh mereka yang kita kenal didunia, masih hidup, cuma di alam yang berbeza dgn kita. "

*baby mama dah proceed dulu ke alam kubur dulu, alam yang pastinya nanti mama n abah akan datang juga. Semoga Allah menemukan kami kembali dgn baby Amni kami.. amen.